In the last blog, Peter was teaching the Jewish Christians in dispersion to submit to authority by following Christ’s example, living as people who are free, but suffering as Christ did where necessary. Today he turns to wives and husbands:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Pet 3:1-2).
In our times, almost two thousand years after Peter wrote this passage, radical unbelieving feminists are driven mad by these words. But many, having encountered the risen Christ now consider these words to be a lighthouse along the rocky coast of life. I say this to honor my wife Sue, who, in the midst of a year-long struggle with injuries from a bad fall has relied on me physically and spiritually through the fog of extended recovery. But this is not where she began her journey.
We both grew up in a liberal Christian tradition that relied on the church organization rather than the Word of God. But when in the 1990s we discovered a true Bible-based evangelical church, Sue also discovered Bible Study Fellowship (BSF), and her passion for Scripture and obedience was opened wide. I can say honestly that, while I was off earning a living, she patiently waited for me to discover what she had gained from BSF.
She was being subject to me by quietly leading me.
And not just me. She is known as “Grama” to a number of young adults who are not related to us biologically.
“Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Pet 3:3-4).
Peter’s point here is to set the stage to model behavior after the women of old, such as Abraham’s wife Sarah, who was far from perfect, but who honored God and her husband:
“For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening” (1 Pet 3:5-6).
Excellent adornment in God’s eyes is submission to “coupleness,” a word used today in the marriage counseling profession. Sarah was not perfect and even laughed at God when he promised that she would bear a child in old age. This passage is about marriages that thrive on coupleness.
Moving forward, I must snicker a bit at the fact that Peter has used six verses to instruct wives, but now only one to instruct husbands!
“Likewise husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet 3:7).
Perfect unity in marriage lies in teamwork – coupleness – with an understanding of what is trivial and what is eternal. The ultimate goal is to work together in a way that pleases God and does not hinder our prayers.